Bigger Balls: Cousins or Keenum
Kyle DeRider
It’s well-documented that Case Keenum has big balls. Mike Zimmer spilled the beans in the post-game press conference last November after the Cardinals game. And he did last year, I mean the guy was on a $2 million contract and played out of his mind. You could even say those balls got him that $36 million contract in Denver.
Yet after yesterday you have to ask, does Kirk Cousins need a wheel-barrow for his balls? I mean this guy just received the first ever fully-guaranteed contract good for $84 million smackaroos, and we paid him all that to go into Lambeau Field and go toe-to-toe with Erin Rodgers. I mean in week 2, that’s a lot of pressure. And what happened then, well in Minneapolis they say, his regular-sized balls grew three sizes that day.
I mean did you see that touchdown throw to Thielen!? The window he threaded that needle through would make Christian Ponder literally poop his pants. Hell, even Keenum wouldn’t try that one (he tends to lob his throws). We were down 20-7 in the 4th quarter and he willed us into position to win, something that quite honestly doesn’t happen much for the Vikings.
Four things I look for in a quarterback are leadership, intelligence, talent and testicular fortitude. Kirk Cousins may be corny and smile kind of weird, but for him trot onto the field with all the pressure in the world squarely on his shoulders and deliver like he did… that takes a set of balls that may require a custom nut-cup.
Joey Lash