NFL Week 5 LOCKS OF THE WEEK. Overs, money lines and spread covers.

Folks, I have been crunching numbers all week. I know the Wise Guys from Vegas will probably want my head on a stick after these juicy picks get dropped, but I am a man of the people and I want YOU to succeed, so fuck em.

I whittled down the 15 games this weekend to 4 for sure wins.

1. My revenge fuck/game of the week. Adrian Peterson vs Sean Peyton. AP hates Sean Peyton with a passion and wants to shove it down his throat. I see AP running  for 120 yards and 2 touchdowns on that once good now bad Saints defense. Saints defense are 24th in the league with yards allowed. Redskins Defense are sneaky good this year, ranked 3rd in the NFL for yards allowed. The Skinnys are not getting respect they deserve. Redskins cover the +6.5 point spread.

2. Falcons vs Steelers. The Devils Threesome of the week! (Insert drool emoji) Both these defenses suck, that’s not news to anyone. The difference is in the weapons, who has more you ask? Don’t get me wrong, Steelers are stacked with weapons(love Juju & AB) but I don’t like the mojo of the team right now. Steelers have been trending downward all season. Atlanta’s offense on the other hand, I am loving right now, been getting better every week. Devonta Freeman is back from injury, him and Tevin Coleman will have fresh legs all game. Falcons passing attacked is killing it right now, especially with the emergence of Calvin Ridley. I see this game being a shoot out but a shoot out that the Steelers wont be able to keep up with. Take the Falcons(+3) on the spread, take the Falcons on the money line(+150), and you might as well throw that trifecta parlay on the over(57), I think both teams will score 30 or more in this game.

3. Game number 3 aka The BLOODBATH of the week. Everyone is soooo high on Patrick “the frog” Mahomes, sorry Mahomies, but this week is going to suck for Patty Cakes. Jaguars defense GON’ EAT. Chiefs have been playing teams that are subpar and the bottom feeders of the league, they ain’t ready for the number 1 defense. Not only Jags D gonna eat but the Jags offense, led by Blake “The B.O.A.T.” Bortles, will put up good numbers against this horrid Chiefs defense. The spread is 3 points in favor of the Chiefs. Looks like the WISE GUYS drank the red kool-aid, shout out And Reid! Bet the Jags to cover and might as well take the money line.

4. Final game. The obvious pick of the week. Rams -7.5 against the Seahawks. Pick the Rams to cover. Seahawks are a shell of what they use to be. This should be a 13 point spread. Unless the Rams are looking past the Seahawks, this is a lock. I think everyone saw what happened to the Vikings in week 3 against the Bills so everyone should be aware not to take any week lightly. Sean McVay is a smart enough coach to make sure his players are ready to go. Rams by 13.

Here you are folks, there’s my locks of the week. Bet the kitchen sink, the kitchen and that down payment! Skol.

-PP Huncho

8 Guarantees for Thursday Night Football

1. There will be more Vikings fans than Rams

2. There will be a SKOL chant at the stadium

3. Dan Bailey will score his first field goal as a Viking along with the game winning field goal.  

4. Rams defense will get 3 sacks

5. Todd Gurley will be held under 70 yards rushing

6. Troy Aikman and Joe Buck will sound like idiots

7. Daniele Hunter will finish with two sacks

8. Adam Thielen and Stefon Diggs will combine for over 250 yards receiving  

Score prediction: 27-30 Vikings. SKOL

BREAKING NEWS: Sean McVay not focused on Thursdays game

Sources close to the internet streets tell me Sean McVay is not ready for Thursday’s game against the Vikings. Judging by this leaked image he is thinking with his wrong head. 

but then again, who am I to hate on this. Go on and get yours player. RESPECT ✊